Going Home
by snoflaik
Summary: sequel to 'The Voices in Your Head' Rory and Tristan's ride through friendship to so much more
1. The Complications of Life

"So what do you want to see

Going Home: The Complications of Life

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: The characters are owned by the producers and creators of Gilmore Girls but the story is all mine. I also do not own _Boondock Saints_. But must say it is a kick-ass movie.

Rating: PG or PG-13 (mild cursing and prolly some other stuff)

Hey all. . this is the sequel to 'The Voices in Your Head'. I couldn't resist writing more cause the Trory in me screamed for a good ending.By the way, I went back and changed the date of Rory's birthday in 'Voices' when I realized that they had an episode with her party and it was during the school year. Shame on all you readers for not catching that!Anyway, Hope you all enjoy the first part. . . 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

It had been easy.Almost too easy to become friends and put the past behind. After coming to an understanding at the end of sophomore year the only thing to do was to become even closer over the summer. They saw each other almost everyday, whether it was hanging out by the pool at the Country Club or seeing the latest flick at the movie theatre.Rory was amazed at just how different Tristan really was from the guy who had tortured her through most of the year.He was kind, considerate, and could even be sweet when he wanted to be.Evil Tristan still popped up from time to time but it had become more of a running joke rather than a bad thing.Being away from the stuffy halls of Chilton and alone with her made it all the easier for Tristan to be himself around her.

Dean and Rory were still dating, but as her friendship with Tristan grew stronger her relationship with Dean grew weaker.They just didn't seem to be on the same wavelength anymore.Tristan and Dean had never met up again which Rory thought was good. It did hurt her that the two most important men in her life couldn't get along with each other.Dean still didn't trust Tristan but he did trust Rory, so it was useless to go and get jealous over them hanging out together. It was also pointless to try to tell Rory to stop. The words that had gotten them back together had never been repeated.It wasn't that Rory hadn't meant them; she was in love with him.But deep down she knew that this love was different from true love.Tristan accepted the situation.He knew that even thought she didn't return his feelings they still had a strong friendship.It still hurt a little to hear her talk about _him. _But all things change. 

The three months of bliss known as summer had to come to an end as the new school year started.Rory wasn't exactly happy about returning to the halls of Chilton and reclaiming her status as school outcast.At least this time Tristan would be standing beside her.It was such a comfort to know that she could always count on him.Tristan didn't want to return to school. He had changed and grown so much over the summer that his shallow existence at the school as hottest player holds absolutely no appeal to him anymore. He was tired of being fake. He was tired of living up to everyone else's standards and not his own.He didn't want to return to his old life, but he was slowly realizing that with Rory by his side, he didn't have to.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So how was your first day of being back in the cold vapid halls of Chilton?" asked Tristan as he came up to Rory's locker for the after school sparring which had somehow become routine.

"Oh just peachy." Replied Rory as she took books out of her locker.

"That good huh?"

"Yeah well how would you like being the lunchroom reporter of _The Franklin_ just because the editor is a. . a. . ."

"Bitch?" replied Tristan, filling in her sentence.

"Thanks. And to top it all off," continued Rory, "now I have to go home and spend about 20 hours this weekend on homework. What are they doing? Punishing us for having three months off?"

"Yes, I think they are."

"Ugh, " moaned Rory, as she closed her locker and leaned against it, "I'm going to be doing logarithms for hours."

"Ok here's the plan. Homework tonight and then movie tomorrow night."

"Sounds good my friend. Why do they have to ruin the week by making the first day on a Friday and then having the weekend off?"

"That's Chilton for you."

"I think it can be construed as cruel and unusual punishment in some states."

"I agree. Well I gotta be getting home."

"Wait you getting home right after school. What's wrong?" asked Rory suddenly serious

"My grandmother came in from Paris to spend some time with me."

"That's great," replied Rory with a smile.

"Yeah well anything is good when it means a break from World War III," answered Tristan with an attempt at a smile, "Later." 

Rory sighed as she watched him leave.His home life was so different than hers that she couldn't even comprehend what he had to go through almost everyday. During the summer, she had tried her hardest to remove him from the lasting coldness he had felt everyday of his childhood and show him that people did care about him and his life. He was a regular dinner guest at the Gilmore house and even her grandparents liked having him over for dinner.Anything to remove him from the house which he viewed more as a prison.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So what do you want to see?" asked Tristan as they stood in front of the ticket booth.

"Let's see Moulin Rouge. I heard it was really good."

"Isn't that a musical?"

"I believe so."

"And that means breaking out into song at random points of the movie."

"Most likely."

"Oh lord," he replied rolling his eyes

"Think of it this way," said Rory, "It's about girls in a whore house. Hey, maybe you'll even see some of your old girlfriends in it."

"That was harsh."

"I couldn't resist, sorry."

"Hmm. . .whore house equals less clothing.I think I'll love this movie," he replied with a devilish smile.

-smack-

"Hey what was that for?" he asked rubbing the back of his head

"Your such a guy."

"And proud of it," he replied with a wide grin. "How about Pearl Harbor?"

"I really want to see Moulin Rouge."

"It's a musical," whined Tristan.

"I'm aware."

"Come on there's gotta be something better."

"I'll make a bet with you. If you like the movie, you have to bring me coffee every morning before school for the whole first semester."

"And what do I get if I hate it?"

"You won't hate it."

"Don't be so sure."

"Fine I'll. . . " ended Rory as she tried to think of something.

"Be my sex slave for the same amount of time?" he asked with a leer.

-smack-

"Oww! are you trying to give me a concussion?"

"Hey, that one was definitely deserved," she replied crossing her arms, "Anyway, if you hate it I'llhelp you with your homework every night."

"Three months of being with you every night. Count me in. I hate this movie already."

"And no lying. I can always tell when you are so don't even try it."

"Who me?" he replied with an innocent face.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"So what did you think?" asked Rory as the credits began to roll.

"Regular or decaf?" replied Tristan grudgingly with a scowl.

"Regular," answered Rory with a triumphant smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"I love you," exclaimed Rory, smelling the coffee in the air and noting the presence right beside her.

"Wow if I had known that bringing you coffee in the morning would let you admit your true feelings for me I would have done it long ago."

" I was addressing the coffee not you," she replied as she took the cup form his hands, "Mmm. Smells heavenly."

"I'll just have to find another way for you to pledge your undying love and finally admit your feelings to me. I do have my ways. No one can resist my god like looks and the DuGrey charm for long."

"Good luck with that," replied Rory walking away, "You'll need it," she added over her shoulder.

"Ouch."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"What's this?" asked Rory was she looked at the flyer, which had been put in front of her. 

"Only the best festival in Hartford," replied Tristan, putting down his tray and taking the seat across form her.

"The 40th Annual Hartford Independent Film festival," read Rory aloud, "Sounds like fun."

"You like Indy films?" asked Tristan.

"I love em'. They are so much better than those big blockbuster types that cost millions to make and have absolutely no plot."

"I couldn't agree more. Last year they had this great film called _Boondock Saints_. One of the best movies I've ever seen."

"Well I'd love to go. When is it?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Cool." 

"So how is the food today Miss Lunchtime Reporter?" asked Tristan with a wide grin.

"Do you want to get smacked again? Because that can be arranged."

Tristan just laughed, "Are you trying to hurt me on purpose?"

"No, it's just a pleasant perk to our relationship," she replied with a smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey," said Rory as she found Dean in the produce aisle of the market."

"Hey back. So what are you doing here today?"

"Oh you know just doing a little shopping."

"Aww, I thought that you were here to see me."

"Nope. Sorry. Try again."

"So what are you doing tomorrow night?" asked Dean. "I thought we could celebrate you making it through the first week of school."

"Well I'd love to, but I kind of already have plans," replied Rory slowly.

"With who?" asked Dean, although he already knew the answer.

"Tristan." 

"Evil boy?" asked Dean, his jaw tightening at the mention of his name.

"He's returned from the dark side."

"You do know he's in love with you right?" 

"Dean, come on. Let's not start this again. He's my friend."

"Yeah and I'm your boyfriend. Come on Rory, We haven't had a date alone in so long. It's always with doubling with Lane and Henry or doing nothing at all cause you're out with him."

"Come with us then," offered Rory. She knew he was right, but she also didn't want to miss going to the festival.

"I don't think that's a good idea," said Dean, remembering what happened last time.

"He's different now. Please come."

"Alright. What time?"

"Well, Tristan's supposed to pick me up at 6:30, but I'll just call him and tell him we'll meet him there at 7:30."

"Where are we going?"

"The Hartford Indy Film Festival."

"Sounds like fun," replied Dean sarcastically.

"Well it will be if you try and make it that way. Now I gotta get home and call Tristan before he leaves. See ya around 6:30." And with a quick kiss she was out of the store.

"This should be a fun night," muttered Dean to himself. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

more on the way!


	2. All the World is a Stage

Going Home: 

Going Home: All the World is a Stage

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: Borrowed characters owned by the WB, and the creators and producers of Gilmore Girls. I'll give them back I promise!

Rating: PG or PG-13 [mild cursing and some other stuff]

"Hey Mom, I'm home," called Rory as she hung up her coat and threw her purse onto the table.

"Hey honey," yelled Lorelei from the living room

"Donna Reed?!" exclaimed Rory was she walked into the room and saw what was on TV, "I thought we discussed this mother."

"There's nothing else on," whined Lorelei.

"It's been a sad, sad night in the Gilmore house."

"Speaking of nights, How was yours? I don't see any bloodstains on your clothing so that looks good. Any fist fights this time?" asked Lorelei turning off the TV and turning to give her full attention to Rory.

"Funny," replied Rory as she flopped onto the easy chair. She was so tired. The night had actually gone surprisingly well, except for the fact that Dean was quiet most of the time and the conversation usually consisted of Tristan and Rory battling with each other and making jokes at some of the more cheesy Indy films.Dean didn't look like he was exactly having a blast watching the two spar and laugh together.

"They were civil to each other at least. Dean was really quiet through most of the night. I don't think he liked the films."

"Or maybe it was all of the flirting he witnessed," commented Lorelei with a knowing smile.

"We do not flirt." defended Rory crossing her arms. "Ok maybe we get into some heated arguments and maybe we might have monopolized the conversation time a bit but it was _not_ flirting."

"What ever you say denial girl," replied Lorelei, "So no confrontation? No emergence of Evil Tristan? No raging hormones of jealousy? Come on honey, Lorelei needs her story time! You know I live vicariously through you so spill!"

"It was fine. Nothing happened."

"No fighting no yelling, no pulling Rory from both ends like in cartoons and your arms getting really long?"

"Nope."

"There's gotta be something. Tell Lorelei. Please." 

"Fine, Dean keeps telling me that Tristan has feelings for me beyond friendship. I always tell him to drop it but he brought it up again in the car. I'm tired of defending our friendship to everyone. And even if he does, I don't fell anything like that for him. We're just friends. Nothing more nothing less."

"You sure about that?" asked Lorelei.

"Positive."

"Sure you are. No I believe you. No I do. I really, really do."

-thwak-

Her response came in the form of a pillow being thrown into her face.

"You do know this means war?" stated Lorelei as she held up the pillow. "You better start running."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Rory looked at the clock as she rolled over in her bed for what seemed like the 100th time that night, attempting and failing to find a comfortable position.

1:30

_* I can still get 4 hours of sleep_. * She thought as she rolled onto the stomach and buried her head into the pillow willing herself to sleep.

"Ugh!" she yelled in frustration as sleep eluded her. _* I just want to get some sleep. Why is this so hard? *_

After a while, she fell into that state in which you don't know if you're awake or asleep. She started to go over that night in her head. Trying to remember what had been said and what she had said in return.Dean's behavior was very strange and she suddenly wondered what exactly had been going on between her and Tristan. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

_-Hours earlier-_

"Hey there," greeted Rory was she opened the door and slid into the car.

"Hey back," replied Dean as he leaned in to kiss her. 

"Ack! We better get going. I told Tristan we'd meet him in front of the theatre at 7:30 and it's almost 6:45."

Dean sighed as he put the car and gear and drove away from the curb. The moment was inevitably broken, once again, by some mention of Tristan.

"I'm so excited about this festival," exclaimed Rory. 

"I'm excited too," replied Dean, "I finally get to spend some time with you."

Rory just smiled over at him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Hey Rory," greeted Tristan as they walked up to him, "Dean." He added with a nod.

Dean nodded back at him as Rory greeted him, "Hello. Sorry we're late."

"It's ok. I'm usually the late one so I guess you're allowed," replied Tristan teasingly.

"My humblest apologies."

"Accepted, I'll find some way for you to make it up to me." He added with a devilish smile.

Dean just stood back and watched the whole conversation unfold.

"Oh will you?" asked Rory, raising an eyebrow and continuing the usual flow of there conversations.  
"Count on it," he replied still smiling at her.

Dean cleared his throat alerting them that he was still there.

"Well, we should probably go in and get a good seat."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"_Oh John, I will miss you so when you go away_," exclaimed the actress on the screen as she cried for the 75th time in the last half hour.

"Yeah almost as much as I miss the plot of this movie," whispered Tristan to Rory. 

"_And I will miss you as well, my love. Please don't forget me_."

"Since I won't forget those new implants you got." Tristan smiled as Rory broke out laughing and moved her hands onto her mouth, trying to muffle the noise.

"_We will be together again won't we? This won't be the last time I see you handsome face will it?_" whispered the actress as she pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"I hope it is," added Rory, grinning back at Tristan.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"_But Doctor, how could this happen? I'm still a virgin_," inquired the well-endowed blonde on the screen.

"Yeah and I'm the Pope," snorted Rory.

"Maybe it was the Immaculate Conception?" asked Tristan trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"_I'll tell you where you can put that money_," yelled the women as she picked up a vase

"_Oh and where is that?" _replied the man.

"Into a long term retirement fund?" inquired Tristan.

_"Up your ass!" _screamed the woman.

"Ouch, That wouldn't be too comfortable," commented Rory.

The man ducked as the vase flew at his head.

"I don't think she liked his offer," whispered Tristan.

"No, the flying vase was a symbol of love," replied Rory sarcastically.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Rory flopped over again and smiled as she thought of all the fun she and Tristan had commenting on the movies. And with those thoughts in her head she slowly drifted off into sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * ** 

Rory was practically skipping when she walked into the market. 

"Hey," she said as she smiled brightly and kissed Dean.

"Hey back," he replied. He then looked at her shining eyes and grin, "What? It looks like someone hit you with a happy stick."

"It's just been a good day. And sweet dreams last night. That festival was so much fun. I can't wait till next year."

Dean's smile faded slightly when he thought about the previous night. "Yeah it was pretty good."

"You had absolutely no fun. Didn't you?" asked Rory with a knowing look 

" Well I got to spend time with you," replied Dean, trying to save

Rory just raised a brow.

"Ok fine. Miserable time. No fun." 

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. The upside was you were there."

"Well I'm always happy to be your upside."

"Too bad Tristan was there too."

"Why? You two seemed to get along this time."

"I just would of rathered it be the two of us," he amended without actually answering her question. They had reached an unspoken agreement about the topic of Tristan. The topic was to be avoided. "Hey isn't some special day coming up soon?" asked Dean with a sly smile.

"I believe there might be."

"And maybe we'll do something special to celebrate that special day."

"It's a date. We'll talk later. I gotta go hit the books." And with a smile and a kiss she was gone.

* * * * * * * * *

More coming :)~


	3. The Science of a Surprise

Going Home: The Science of a Surprise

Going Home: The Science of a Surprise

Author: snoflaik

"Are you ready?" asked Tristin as he came up beside her while she was walking to the bus.

"For what?" replied Rory.

"For the big birthday celebration surprise I have planned."

"I'm scared. Does that count?"

"Funny, funny girl."

"So what this birthday celebration surprise entail?"

"The point of a surprise is to not know what's going to happen. How in the world did you ever get into Chilton not knowing that?" joked Tristin.

"It must have been my killer essay."

"I'll pick you up. 5:00. Wear something dressy. Oh and tell your mom we'll be home late."

"But where are we going?"

"I can't tell you," replied Tristin in a singsong voice as he walked away.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Where are we going?" asked Rory again for what seemed like the 50th time in the last half hour.

"I told you it's a surprise," replied Tristin as he turned the car off of the highway.

"Pleeeeeeese tell me," begged the blindfolded Rory next to him.

"My answer was no when you asked 5 minutes ago and it still is now," answered Tristin.

October 8, 2001. Rory's 17th birthday. Ever since the girl had surprised him with a trip to Boston for his birthday, he had been dying to return the favor.He knew how much she hated surprises. She shuddered away from any situation in which she didn't have control. And today was driving her crazy. She had absolutely no idea where they were going. All he told her was to dress up. The blindfold was placed on as soon as she stepped into his car.

"Come on give me a hint,"

"Oh alright," gave in Tristin, "It's in New York. Now that's all the info you're going to get from me."

"Tristin!" whined Rory, "You know how much this is killing me. Why do you have to be so cruel?" she asked pouting.

Tristin laughed at her expression. "It's part of my job description."

"I hate you," replied Rory frowning.

Tristin felt a pang as he remember another time when those words had been spoken to him. This time they were spoken in jest, but it brought back all the painful memories of that one time when he didn't think they had been a joke.

"We're almost there. Keep your skirt on."

About thirty minutes later, Rory felt the car slow to a stop and heard Tristin put it in park. She was just about ready to out, rip off the blindfold and then kill him. 

"Wait wait till I get over there."

"Damn child locks," muttered Rory as she pulled on the door handle and nothing happened.

"Your really funny when you don't have control over the situation." Said Tristin as he opened the door and gave her his hand to help her out.

"Yeah, well when you tell a girl to get all dressed up, blindfold her, and throw her in the car for god knows how long, and don't tell her where you are going, expect that she's going to get a little testy.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time," replied Tristin as he led her.

"You do that. Can I take this stupid thing off yet?"

"Alright open your eyes now" 

As she felt his hand reach the knot and felt the cloth fall away from her eyes, Rory squinted expecting to be blinded by sunlight. But when she opened her eyes she realized it was dark outside and she was standing in front of the most beautiful building she had ever seen.

"The Metropolitan Opera House . . . " she whispered in awe, "You're taking me to the opera?" she asked in amazement as she turned to look at the grinning Tristin beside her.

"The one and only. Come on, we don't want to be late."

Rory just stood in awe. "Come one," laughed Tristin as he took her hand and led her to the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"We are at the opera," repeated Rory as they sat in the box waiting for it to begin

"Damn. I thought we were going to the Mets game. Not the Met!" He replied with mock shock that melted into a grin as he turned to look at her.

"You're hilarious. I just thought you should know," replied Rory stiffly. 

"Thank you."

"So what are we seeing?" 

"Eugene Onegin"

"Tchiakovsky, How did you know he was my favorite composer?"

"I'm psychic."

"Really, is there anything you can't do?" 

*Make you love me. * thought Tristin as he looked at her. "Plenty." He replied looking away.

"How's your grandmother?" asked Rory trying to break the strained silence that had somehow come about.

"She's great. I love when she comes to visit," answered Tristin, a sudden smile lighting up his face, "Actually she'd the one who gave me the tickets for tonight. She loved coming to the opera with Granddad," he added quietly.

"Tristin I.. . ." Rory began and was cut off by the dimming lights and the orchestra.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The sounds and sights, unfolding themselves before her, mesmerized Rory. She was swept away by the strong voices and the beautiful music. She had no idea how Tristin knew how much she loved Tchiakovski. It was just another aspect of the enigma that was Tristin. An enigma that she was slowly learning to understand. She still couldn't take it all in. She was at the opera, with Tristin, on her birthday. How in the world did they ever end up in this spot? She glanced over at him. That boy really knew how to wear a suit. She had never really noticed [or maybe never really admitted] just how attractive he really was.The lights flashed over his face and his blue eyes shone with light. She quickly turned her attention and thoughts back to the stage attempting to pay attention. She shouldn't be having these thoughts about a friend. About Tristin no less. It must be Lorelei's influence, she silently told herself. All that prodding and the veiled comments about flirting and hidden feelings were just catching up with her. Yeah that was it. Still, she some part of her couldn't believe that just a friend would take her to the Opera. And just a friend would place such utter and complete trust in her when she knew he didn't trust anyone else. Telling her about his grandmother and grandfather was a gesture that she couldn't help but catch the meaning of.She was quickly learning that he was so much more than what he let on. 

Tristin was mesmerized by Rory. He had been to the opera before with his grandmother and had always loved it. Once again something that no one knew about him. Tonight was different. Tonight he was with her and only her.He knew he was going out on a limb by trusting her and loving her. He knew he would eventually get hurt. It was inevitable between the two. She didn't mean to hurt him of course, but ignorance can be deadly all the same. It was worth it just to have one special night. He knew that Rory would love coming here. He smiled as he watched her close her eyes and sway slightly with the music a small content smile on her face. And couldn't help but love her. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So what did you think?" asked Tristin, breaking the silence of the car ride.

"Hmmm?" asked Rory turning from the window. As the opera ended and they returned to the car, all her thoughts finally caught up to her and she was suddenly self-conscious about their relationship. She had been lost in her own thoughts and almost didn't hear his question, "I loved it." She replied with a tired smile. "But really Tristin that was too much."

"I just wanted to do something special for your birthday. I mean you made mine so great I just wanted to return the favor."

"I took you to a baseball game. It's so not the same thing."

"It was my favorite team. That makes it the same in my book."

"When did you get so sweet on me," replied Rory only half teasing, "I need a warning for this type of thing. You're gonna give me a heart attack."

Tristin laughed. "I'll warn you when I go back. Will that satisfy you?"

"Good cause I was starting to miss the old you."

"Were you, Mary?" asked Tristin with his usual smirk.

Rory just rolled her eyes and shook her head. "And he's back." 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Well good night," said Tristin as he walked her to the door and they stood on the porch. 

"Thank you," replied Rory suddenly giving him a hug.

"You're very welcome," replied Tristin, "If I get a hug every time we go the Opera, I'll have to buy season tickets." He said teasingly.

"You'll never change," sighed Rory amused and somehow she didn't mind. "Goodnight." She said as she opened the door and stepped through.

Tristin walked back down the path with a smile.


	4. Interlude to Disaster

"Okay smile girl

Going Home: Interlude to Disaster

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: Don't own them. . blah blah blah

"Okay smile girl. How was your night?" cornered Lorelai as she saw her daughter walk into the house with a small contented smile on her face.

"Don't wanna talk. Wanna sleep." said Rory as she tried to pass Lorelai and go into her room.

"Story time. Where did you go?" asked her mother, as she pulled her back towards the sofa.

"The opera."

"Wow culture. And I thought Disney on Ice was fun."

"Yes, Tchiacovsky. Very Very nice." muttered Rory, as she lay down onto the sofa.

"He _is_ good," thought Lorelai out loud.

"Good, very very good," muttered Rory again. 

"hmm. . ." said Lorelai. She'd have to dig a little deeper tomorrow. "Ok time for all girls who had their sixteenth birthday today and went to New York to go to bed."

"Night mom," whispered Rory was she walked past her mother into her room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lorelai smiled at her obviously tired daughter as she walked into the kitchen. 

"Ok so I let it slide last night, but story time has been officially postponed until right . . . about . . . now," said Lorelai as she looked at her watch.

"No story till coffee," replied Rory as she picked up the coffee pot and set it down disgustedly. "How could you not make coffee this morning?"

"Morning? Darlin' it's 2 in the afternoon."

"What!"

"See what happens when you stay out till all hours of the night," tsked Lorelai, shaking her head.

"Luke's," replied Rory walking out of the room.

"You read my mind."

* * * * * * * * * * * * ** 

"Hey Rory. It was strange having only one Gilmore begging for coffee this morning."

"Late night last night," explained Lorelai "But we'll have coffee now."

"No."

"Pleeeeeese," the begged in unison. Luke sighed in defeat. He could never resist those two for long.

"Thank you," they said brightly as they moved to a booth.

"Ok. Now. Spill."

"It was fun. I was angry for him blindfolding me and driving for hours without telling me what was going on. But how can you hate a guy who takes you to the opera?"

"How could you resist loving him either?" commented Lorelai half-joking

Rory just ducked her head and avoided eye contact. That thought or at least one along the same lines had been running through her head since last night.

Lorelai gasped when she noticed the lack of denial and witty come back. "Oh My God."

"I don't mother," replied Rory, knowing where the conversation was now headed. 

"Yes you do. Or at least you've begun to think about it."

"I really don't want to discuss this right now."

"What about Dean?" gasped Lorelai, ignoring her daughter's entreaty to end the conversation, " He won't like this much. Oh that reminds me. He called last night. He didn't sound to happy when I told him where you were."

"Oh great. I better go talk to him," replied Rory, already sliding form the booth.

"And I must get more java," remarked Lorelai as she slid out and made her way to the counter.


	5. Beware the Monster Known as Blindness

"Luke

Going Home: Beware of the Monster Known as Blindness

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: I'll give all the characters back. I promise.

"I don't want you hanging around him," stated Dean quietly as he reached down to open another box to start stocking the shelves. 

"Pardon?" replied Rory as she stood there in shock just staring as his back.

"Tristin," he answered getting up and turning to face her, " I don't want you hanging out with him anymore."

"Excuse me? You're not my keeper, you're my boyfriend."

"And as your boyfriend I'm asking you to stay away from him."

"Asking would imply there to be a choice. This sounds more like telling." 

"Call it what you like," replied Dean

"Ok so what if I don't? Are you going to grab me by the hair and drag me back to the cave! My friendship with him has _nothing_ to do with our relationship," stated Rory getting angrier by the minute. 

"He's pulling us apart. Can't you see that?" said Dean, his anger matching hers.

"No you are.Because you obviously don't trust me!"

"It's him I don't trust."

"They go hand in hand. You think he'll try something with me. Fine I get that. But you don't trust me to stop him if he does."

"Christ Rory I see the way he looks at you!" exploded Dean, "And I see the way you look back," he finished quieter.

Rory was stunned that he could think that of her.

"Dean, Your spaced," replied Rory when she could finally speak again, "There is nothing going on between us."

"He took you on some surprise trip for your birthday. You two are practically dating already."

This stunned Rory again. Why was he bringing all this up? 

"It was my birthday. It was a gift. From a good friend," replied Rory almost in tears.

"Well what about our plans? About our date for your birthday?"

"We didn't have any," replied Rory confused.

"Maybe you didn't think we did. But I did and I call and find out you are with him. Again. As usual."

"Well how was I supposed to know?"

"It used to be a given. But obviously things change."

"I guess so," retorted Rory

"Rory what is happening to us?" asked Dean tiredly.

"That is a very good question. You know what, I'm going to leave before we both say something we're going to regret."

"If you really loved me, you'd stay away," stated Dean quietly.

"Like that," she took a deep breath as all the anger came rushing back again," Don't you dare make me chose.No one tells me who to be friends with. We'll talk about this later when you get off you high horse."And with that she turned and stalked out of the store. She felt the customers' eyes as well as Dean's on her back as she slammed the door shut.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Luke!" whined Lorelai as she sat on the bar stool with the empty mug in her hands

"No Lorelai. You've already had five cups of coffee today," replied Luke walking over to another customer at the bar.

"You know she's going to start whining even more if you don't give it to her," said Tristin with a smile as he walked up to the bar and took a seat beside her. 

"Thank you Tristin. You're exactly right."

"No. No more," stated Luke, "and that's final. What can I get you?" he added to Tristin.

"Just a cup of coffee."

"Oohh devil child," replied Lorelai

Luke looked at him, "Swear you won't give any to her."

"Scout's honor," replied Tristin 

"So what brings you to our town?" asked Lorelai.

"Rory," he replied

"Why do I even ask? She should be here soon. She just went over to talk to Dean. So I heard all about your little birthday surprise. The opera. Favorite composer. Nice touch."

"Thank you. I do try."

"Oh I know you do."

"Here you go," said Luke as he placed the coffee in front of Tristin

"Thanks."

Tristin waited until Luke turned away before sliding the mug in front of Lorelai.

"I always knew I loved ya kid," said Lorelai as she stuck her head down and smelled the coffee.

"I never was a very good boy scout." replied Tristin with a smirk.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Rory ran back down the street her anger fading away with the wind. Now she was just sad. Sad that things had to turn out like this. She had no idea what to do.

As she walked up the steps to Luke's and opened the door, she stopped short when she saw at the familiar tussled blond hair of the person beside Lorelai.

"Tristin," she said, thinking out loud.

He turned around and smiled, "Hey Rory."

"Hey honey. How's Dean? I ran into Tristin here and we've been talking for a while. He even gave me coffee when Luke was mean again. Big surprise there. Not Tritsan giving me coffee but Luke being mean.Tristin's nice. He's my new best friend.Anyway he's agreed stay for lunch, so lets all go get a table. Ok? Alright." Lorelai got up and started walking. 

Tristin just stared at her. "You really did have six cups today didn't you? I always thought Luke was exaggerating," he added as he followed her to a booth.

"Dean is just great," said Rory answering her mother's question as she slid in beside her.

"What's wrong?' asked Tristin quietly after watching her look at the menu then throw it down again and stare out the window.

"He doesn't want me to see you anymore."

"What!" yelled Lorelai, spitting out her coffee.

"He said that if I really loved him, I would stay away."

"You have to be kidding me. Who does this bag boy think he is?" ranted Lorelai.

"Alright." said Tristin quietly as he stared down at his hands on the table.

"What!" said both Gilmore's in unison.

"You love him," he explained quietly trying to keep the bitterness and pain that he felt out of his voice. Lorelai noticed he couldn't keep it out of his eyes.

"This has nothing to do with love or with whatever I feel for him. This has to do with jealousy and the fact that he doesn't trust me."

"Well then what are you going to do?" asked Tristin.

"I won't chose," stated Rory. "He'll get over his jealousy kick eventually. God, this all seems like some WB Dawson's Creek episode or something."

"He'll come around eventually," said Lorelai trying to console her and the boy who'd somehow become so much a part of her life. "It will all seem better tomorrow."


	6. When the rug has been pulled out from un...

Rory wanted to watch the show

Going Home: When the rug has been pulled out from under you. . . 

Author: snoflaik

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Rory wanted to watch the show.She found it intriguing to watch them fall all over him.Intriguing and incredibly stupid. Didn't they know anything? Flirting outright with a guy was not the way to get him. Especially if that guy was Tristin. Couldn't they tell all his charm was the result of finely toned acting skills?

It had kind of become and inside joke between them.She stood off, far enough that no one noticed her there. But he always knew when she was around.She could tell by the twinkle in his eye and the smile that was always placed subtly in her direction. She saw 'her' coming down the hall.The Player of the Day.

"Hey there," said the actress as she came up to stand right beside him as he was searching through his locker.

And then it all changed. 

He didn't even turn around to look at her. "Hey," came the uninterested response.

She, however, was not to be thwarted so easily. She hid her surprise with a fake smile as she leaned against the next locker and tried again. 

"So what are you doing this weekend?" she asked batting her eyelashes.

"Going to a museum." He replied finally turning around to look at her and Rory gasped. The twinkle was gone. The blank look in his eyes contradicted the smile on his face. 

"Oh really," she replied leaning in closer. "And would anyone be joining you on your little trip?" she asked coyly.

"Of course," he replied smiling wider, pouring on the charm.

"Oh and who would that be?" she asked playing along.

"Probably someone other than you," he answered. The smile was gone and his face became unreadable. The girl stood there with her mouth gaping open and her eyes wide.

Rory watched the girl, still in shock, finally walk back down the hall as Tristin turned back to his locker. 

She walked over to him, "Wasn't that was little harsh?" she asked somewhat angry 

"I'm just so God damn tired of pretending all the time." he replied as he slammed the locker shut and walked away. Leaving another gaping girl in his wake.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Why is it so hard? " began Tristin as he paced back in forth, "No one in that school knows who I am. Hell I've gone to school with the same kids for 12 years. 12 years of my life and we are all strangers. I'm just so tired of playing their stupid shallow games. They don't mean anything.They are pointless.The result of pettiness and selfishness and boredom. It's all just fucking lies.All of it. A tool to hide the insecurities, the sadness, the boredom, the loneliness, the pain, the fucking cold and emptiness that everyone is filled by. You don't get it. And you never would. Your life has been completely different than ours. We are all the same. But somehow I'm different too. And it's all because of you. You've changed me. You've shown me your world and made me believe that I can share in it. But you know what?I can't. I can't be like you. It's not that fucking simple. I can't change my past. I can only live and learn from it. I can't even move on. Not when I've been stuck in the same place for so long. Why is all so difficult? Why?" He asked with all the emotions he was feeling at that moment. He finally stopped pacing to look at the girl who sat at the base of the tree listening to him rant and rave.

"I don't know Tristin." She answered quietly. He was lost and she had no idea how to help him. "You don't have to pretend anymore. Just be yourself."

"Who is that Rory?" he asked as he sat down in a heap onto the grass in front of her. He reached down and started picking at it frustrated. He then looked straight at her. "I don't have a clue," he added bowing his head into his hands.

Rory didn't know what to say. She thought she knew who he was. She had always known he was different from what everyone else thought he was. He was so much more than he let on.But she quickly realized that she didn't know him at all.As much as he opened himself up to her and trusted her, his true self was hidden deep down inside. So far even he couldn't find it anymore. 

They sat there in silence. He finally looked up again at her. She was looking down deep in thought. He smiled at her. She was trying so hard to help him. But they both knew that there was nothing she could do.

"Enough of my sad 'poor me' rich boy saga. I know you don't really want to hear about all my problems," said Tristin

"How can you say that?" replied Rory with passion in her voice, "How can you say that I don't care about your problems? The stumblings along the path make us who we are. They make you change. They make you learn. They become part of you. And I care about you. All of you."

Tristin had no idea how to reply to this sudden passionate outburst. He had meant his comment as a joke. Not meaning to say that she didn't care about him.

"I'm sorry, Rory. I didn't mean it that way. I just wanted to change the subject," he said gently.

"Sorry, I jumped all over you. I just have a lot on my mind now."

"Dean?" 

"One of many. I just don't know what to do."

"I'm really not the best person to be taking advice from but I'll try and help if I can."

"I think it's beyond help. I mean this isn't like a one time discussion between us. He's told me over and over again how he doesn't trust you and how he thinks there more going on than friendship. And I keep denying it and the subject gets dropped without anything being resolved. It's just one big cycle. And he just put an end to it. I will not stop being friends with you. Not for anything in the world.But what does that say then?What does that say about our relationship? It's more important than my relationship with a guy I supposedly love. I'm just so confused," ended Rory sadly.

_*Maybe it says more than your willing to admit.*_ thought Tristin to himself.

"I don't know what to tell you, Rory." replied Tristin, quietly, "I don't have much experience with this sort of thing."

"You're here. That's enough for me," replied Rory with a little smile.

* * * * * * * * * * *

small little note here. . I've noticed a definite drop off of reviews as opposed to my other stories. . . where's the love people? Now im not going to be mean and say that I wont update until I get some but please people let me know what you think!Will post more tomorrow


	7. Memories of a Life Changed

He smiled as he picked up the frame from the bureau

Going Home: Memories of a Life Changed

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: own nothing. . . .

Author's Note: Short but sweet. . Bare with me here

He smiled as he picked up the frame from the bureau.He still remembers that day.The sea was calm as they sailed out from the cape. Sailed out from France, his home. His grandfather even let him steer.He could see it all now. The wind flowing past his body as the boat moved through the water.He could feel his grandfather behind him, helping him turn the wheel.He saw his grandmother sitting in front of them smiling as she watched her grandson learn how to sail. He remembered the happiness and simplicity of the day.He even remembered how his parents were, so loving and protective. They didn't want him to learn. They thought he was too young, but grandfather insisted. They cared about him so much. Then.

He sighed as he put it back down, gently rubbing a finger along his grandfather's smiling face. He looked at the other pictures, touched that she would bring all these pictures with her when she traveled. His parents wedding photo. Her own wedding. His mom as a smiling girl as she was spun around by her father.A picture of him and his parents, not the formal ones taken every year but one taken while they were on vacation. 

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the yelling travel through the house. He sat on the bed and threw himself with arms spread wide flat onto the soft comforter.He closed his eyes and just lay there. Taking everything in.He smiled as he felt someone sit next to him and felt a hand rub his forehead.

"How was your day?" asked his grandmother gently.

"It was alright." he replied somewhat disheartened.

"What's wrong, dear?"

He sighed as he threw one arm across his eyes, "Everything. I just don't get it anymore. I feel so disconnected from everything around me.It used to be all so simple. You pretended. You play the game and you go through the days.But now. . . . I just so tired of playing."

"Why is that?" she asked, still stroking his head. She could tell he had alot on is mind.

"It's all her fault." He replied somewhat bitterly.

"Who?"

"Rory Gilmore. I think God was laughing at me the day she walked into my life.She is so different from any other girl. She's real. She never even tried to play the game. She just blew it off.And I admire her so much for that. I was an ass to her when she first came. I had no idea how to act around her. She challenged me and scared me and threw my whole life upside down.Then we came to an understanding and I blew it again. I just wanted to be with her.She even said that she hated me.That's what did it. That's when I realized it was pointless.I just stopped trying anymore.Then one day, somehow He stopped laughing and we became friends. We're so close to each other and yet so far. She makes me feel alive and free. This summer was the best one of my life and then school came around again.And everything about it was still the same; everything except me.I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I can' pretend anymore. I can't be myself. If I ever do figure out who that is," he added bitterly.

His grandmother just listened. She knew exactly what he was talking about. She had had a similar experience when she had met his grandfather. She knew about school and about that feeling of being closed in and alone. She also knew what it was like to feel free and have to go back to the closed in state.From the time that she arrived, she had known that this Tristin was almost totally different form the one that she had seen a few months ago. There was almost no resemblance between the two.He was very happy but that happiness was tempered with a dark cloud of sadness.A sadness that comes with knowing that your whole life has been just a play, filled with meaningless gestures and actors.The sadness would soon turn into bitterness and then hate. He might even learn to hate this girl whom he talks so highly and caringly about. Only because she was the one who changed everything for him and he became lost because of it.Something needed to be done. She couldn't let her grandson go through that pain. No one should have to feel lost about who they are. The silence was broken as more yelling filtered up. Having parents fighting couldn't be helping the kid either. She thought to herself. 

Tristin sighed. "Thanks for listening Grandma." He said almost half asleep," I love having you here," he added as he kissed her goodnight.

"Stay strong, my love" she replied as he walked out of the room.


	8. The Fog Lifts

Going Home: Depths

Going Home:The Fog Lifts

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: don't own them. . . . 

Something was wrong. Rory practically stopped in the middle of the hallway when she saw Tristin next to her locker. His whole bearing was completely out of character for him. He was leaning into the row of lockers, head bowed, eyes closed and obviously deep in thought.She studied him silently wondering what happened as she walked over to him.

"I'm going home," said Tristin with a bittersweet smile as he looked up at Rory as she reached her locker.

Rory thought about what he said and remembered that day which seemed so long ago when Tristan poured his soul out to her and they became friends. . . 

* * * * * * * * 

_"So now that we are friends, I have just realized that I know nothing about you as a person or of your family," said Rory._

_ _

_Tristan sighed. He really didn't like talking about those people whom he was forced to call family members.It only brought him pain to think about his empty childhood and non-existent love.But he thought that he could trust Rory. _

_ _

_"Ok", he replied somewhat reluctantly, "What do you want to know? Actually, I don't know that much about you so you have to answer too."_

_ _

_"Fine. Let's start with birthdays. Mine's October 8," answered Rory and waited for his answer._

_ _

_Tristan sighed deeply. "June 10." He answered quietly._

_ _

_"Hey that's Saturday! I should take you somewhere to celebrate! Seventeen is a big one."_

_ _

_"Ok I guess." Replied Tristan dispassionately refusing to meet her eyes._

_ _

_Rory was hurt by his response but she missed judged why he was unenthusiastic."Well alright, I guess you don't have to do anything with me if you don't want to." _

_ _

_Tristan heard her hurt tone and immediately felt the need to explain himself to her. "No Rory its not you.I would love to do anything with you anytime." He added with a small smile."It's just that ... " he stopped and sighed again._

_ _

_Rory saw the hurt and pain in his eyes. "It's ok Tristan you can tell me."_

_ _

_"Well my birthday doesn't exactly bring back the best memories for me." He stopped and looked out the window. * How can I say this to her? Her life has been filled with love while mine has been stark and empty except for one person. Grand. The only one who ever understood me, who ever wanted to know who I was. Everything was fine whenever he was there. Then he was gone and my life fell apart. How can I make her understand? *_

_ _

_Rory felt his sadness. She wanted desperately to pull him into her arms and make his pain go away.She couldn't explain why he had touched her so deeply.But she saw the inner struggle with in him as he looked straight at her for a moment. Can I trust her? Should I trust her? Should I open myself up? She prayed that the answers would be yes.She wanted to know. She needed to know._

_ _

_Almost imperceptibly, he nodded his head and then began, "He was my best friend, my grandfather. I would visit him almost everyday. It was a chance for me to get away. Away from my huge empty house, away from my arguing parents, away from the screaming and the crying. He understood me like no one else.He was always there always waiting for me. We would talk about everything and anything or sometimes nothing at all just sitting there enjoying each other's company in the comfortable silence of the beautiful garden which he tended by hand with my help or in the quiet study where we would be shut off from the world, just us. Every year on my birthday, he would take me on a trip. Just the two of us, for two weeks. We would go around the country and the world. To New York, to Philadelphia, San Francisco, Boston, London, Paris, Rome, Cairo. It didn't matter much where we went since we were together. Oh the adventures we had. Skiing on the Alps, riding camels across the desert, sitting in the Louver for hours staring at one painting, burning it into memory. His favorite city was Paris.He used to say, 'Hartford is where I live, but Paris is my home,' " Tristan chuckled, lost within himself._

_ _

_Rory smiled at him. His eyes blazed with memories and with love he had for his grandfather. Rory had never seen him look so relaxed and so happy. As he continued, the light was replaced with pain and sadness._

_ _

_"Then five years ago everything changed.He was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors gave him only a few months to live but I knew that he was strong and that he would fight. He was still relatively healthy for about six months and then went down hill from there. He grew weaker everyday. I visited him everyday still and we would talk and go on as if nothing had changed.You have no idea how hard it was for me to see him change. He was always the strong one.I would take his strength with me when I left so that I could make it through the day, But then the roles shifted and he was the one drawing his strength from me. About a week before my birthday, he told me that we were going to Paris again.His home. I was excited to be going but knew that this was probably the last time he would ever see his favorite city.He seemed to grow stronger that week. I thought that just the thought of going home made him fight even harder."_

_ _

_Tristan stopped and took a deep breath; the next part was even harder for him to tell. _

_ _

" Then the day before my birthday, he had to go into the hospital. I sat by his side the whole day just talking about all the things we loved most about Paris. When it was time for me to leave, I gave him a hug and said 'I love you' and he smiled and said, 'I'll be home soon.' He died the next afternoon with me by his bedside. After he was gone, I was lost. Not only had I lost my grandfather, I had lost my best friend, the one who knew everything about my life and about me. He knew my secrets and my dreams." Tristan spun the silver band on his middle finger. "He gave this to me for my birthday that year. It had been his father's and then his. I never take it off. It's a reminder of him and a reminder that someday I'll make it back to Paris and I'll be home too. . . . . "

* * * * * * * * * *

As the true meaning of his words reached Rory, her eyes went wide and a smile lit up her face as she hugged him. " You're going back to France! I'm so happy for you! When do you leave?" she asked pulling back a little.

"Tomorrow." he replied. As she gazed at him she realized that something was wrong. He did not look happy. His eyes were clouded with sadness.

"What's wrong? What aren't you telling me?"

"I may not be coming back."

"Please tell me your joking," asked Rory shocked.

"My parents finally decided to stop fighting long enough to actually go out and file for divorce. We're selling the house because my mom has decided to travel the world and my Dad practically lives in New York with his girlfriend anyway. So when my grandmother goes back to France, I'm going with her." The words were spoken with almost no emotion, but his eyes told otherwise.

Rory's eyes burned with tears as all that he was telling her finally sunk in. 

"I'm going to miss you," she whispered as she pulled him into another hug. She was suddenly overcome with new emotions and feelings. Tristin dropped his head onto her shoulder as he held onto her tightly. It felt so good to hold her.

"I'll miss you too," he replied pulling back a little to look at her in the eyes. In the clear blue depths he saw joy and sadness warring. He also saw something else that he would never have noticed before. Something so familiar to him. Something that he had only seen in his own reflection.

"Rory I . . . " started Tristin only to be cut off by the bell. "Goodbye." He whispered as he untangled himself and ran a hand down her cheek wiping away the tears. And with one more look he was gone.

"Goodbye, Tristin" whispered Rory as she turned and walked the other direction. 

* * * * * * * * * * *

Rory went trough the day in a daze. What was wrong with her? She should be happy for her friend. He had finally gotten to go back to the only place where he felt right. Why did she suddenly want him to be beside her again? Why did she miss his arms around her? Why did she care so much? She had seen his soul when she looked into his eyes. She saw longing and sadness along with something else that she couldn't place. It was warm and reached out to her. Something that she couldn't help but feel pulled to. What was wrong with her? She didn't care about him. Not in that way. Did she? Then why was this so hard? Why did it hurt so much? 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Hey Justin!" yelled Rory as she walked into the courtyard. "Could you give me a ride to the Independence Inn?'

"Sure hop in. It's on my way."

* * * * * * * * * *

"Don't you usually get a ride with Du Grey?" asked Justin as they pulled out onto the highway. "I can't beilev he's leaving. Talk about coming out of the blue."

"Yeah," replied Rory automatically, not really hearing what had been said.

He glanced over at her and taking in her reddened eyes decided to end that subject, "Why the Indy Inn?"

"My mom works there," replied Roy quietly still staring out the window.

Justin took the hint and didn't ask any more questions.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Mom," said Rory quietly as she walked into the Inn. The car ride had been spent trying to decide where to go. Her heart told her that she wanted more than friendship and that she should tell him. Her head wouldn't agree. She was terrified. Terrified of being alone. Terrified of being hurt. Terrified of being loved. "Tristin's leaving." 

"Leaving where?"

"He's moving to Paris. Tomorrow."

"Wow. Fast packer."

"He's not coming back."

"Now I see the problem."

"What should I do?"

"Say goodbye?"

"That's not funny," replied Rory almost at the brink of tears

"Oh I'm sorry honey, you're really broken up about this."

"What should I do? I can't let him just leave without. . . without telling him." Rory managed to get out.

"Telling him what?"

"You know what," replied Rory, frustrated.

"You have to say it,"

"That I don't want him to leave. That . . .that I don't want to be without him. That I might love him."

"Go. Now. Take the car."

"What should I say? What if he doesn't fell the same? What if he slams the door in my face? What if he goes anyway?"

"Say what's in your heart.If you don't go you'll regret it. And a life of regret is no life at all. Now go.."

"I love you," said Rory as she pulled her mother into a quick hug before running out the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Tristin, I know were just friends now and I know you said that you don't like me anymore but I have to tell you that I like you, no love you, and I want to be with you. Ok now all I have to do is ring the door bell," added Rory as she talked to herself pacing in front of the door. She had been going over what exactly she would say since she left the Inn. 

"Ok Rory deep breaths." And with that she rang the bell.

* * * * * * * * *

Note: the whole italicized flashback portion was taken from my other story 'The Voices in Your Head' which is the prequel to this story. . . hence the reference.


	9. The Three-Fold Utopian Dream

Going Home: Missing

Going Home: The Threefold Utopian Dream

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: note the title for this chapter is from 'I Miss You' by Incubus. And I still don't own these people but enjoy bending them to my every whim.

The school day seemed like the longest one of the year for Tristin. He couldn't believe that he was leaving everything behind tomorrow. When his parents told him he was going to Paris, he was ecstatic. When he learned that he might not come back, he was thrown into despair.Only one thing had come to mean more to him than anything he had ever felt, or learned or owned and that was Rory. She was the only real thing in his whole existence. As long as she was with him, the world he lived in became bearable. One thing however was clear. He couldn't be with her until he knew who "he" exactly was. He had to find the core that was Tristin and that he could only do alone. He had worn many masks and played many roles throughout his life. Somewhere along the way he lost who he was and only time would help him find it.Time away from the life that required them for survival.

Telling her he was leaving was the hardest thing he had ever done. And to see her cry because of it broke his heart. He only seemed to be able to bring her pain. He had always seemed like the stronger one but he really got all of his strength from her.Looking into her eyes and seeing his own feeling mirrored there had been a surprise. He almost told her what was deepest in his heart. Then as the bell rang he realized that he had already missed his chance. He had missed it the first time he called her Mary; the first time he tormented her, the first time he had jokingly asked her out. She clearly wanted only friendship from him. And sometimes he even questioned that. The game had been over long ago.He left school resigned to the situation. He couldn't change the past and didn't know what the future held. He could only deal with the present. 

Tristin was packing up his room when the doorbell rang. The house looked even more lifeless and empty than normal as he walked through it. It all held a certain irony. He reached for the handle and opened the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When she saw him standing there, all thoughts flew from Rory's mind. Her carefully planned words were gone and her mind went blank. All she could do was stare.

"Rory," said Tristin surprised as he held open the door, "What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"I . . . I . . ." stumbled Rory as she failed to come up with any thoughts let alone a coherent sentence.

She decided to follow her impulse at that moment and throw caution to the wind. She stepped up into the doorframe, reached her hand up behind Tristin's neck and pulled his head down to hers.

Tristin was shocked. So shocked that he just stood still while she pressed her lips to his. Rory, feeling how one sided the kiss really was began to pull back. His senses awoken as the reality of the situation finally sunk in. He stopped her retreat by wrapping his arms around her and leaning forward to deepen the kiss.Soon they both pulled back, their haggard breathing the only sound as they studied each other wide-eyed.

Rory's face broke into a huge smile as she threw her arms around him. 

"I just needed to know," whispered Rory as she leaned her head into his shoulder, "And I think I got my answer."

Tristin took a deep breathe as he pulled back suddenly scared this was all a dream."Are you sure Rory?" he asked with worry in his eyes. He couldn't be broken again. Not this time. Not by her

"Positive," she replied as she kissed him again.

He pulled back again as another thought entered his head.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I'm aware," replied Rory still dizzy from being around him.

"Great timing."

"Hey better late then never."

"That's for damn sure," replied Tristin with a grin as he leaned in once more.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Ok, no more kissing. Serious talk time," said Tristin as he pulled her inside the house and into the family room.

"What about Dean?"

Rory sighed. "It's never been the same since before we broke up. We seem so far apart sometimes.Too many things have changed. I've changed. He won't be surprised even if he doesn't understand. The whole jealousy fiasco was proof of that. The main reason he didn't like you was because he knew you felt and knew you wanted more than friendship from me.I guess deep down some part of me felt the same way. And he saw that come out between us when ever we were together."

"I guess all the flirting in front of him didn't help either," replied Tristin teasingly

"I still say that we were _not_ flirting."

"Sure we weren't."

"You sound just like my mother."

"I'll take that as a compliment." 

"You better."

"See your doing it now."

"Shut up," replied Rory with a little smile

"You so know I'm right," replied Tristin with a smirk. It was so easy to push her buttons.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"You think you know me so well don't you?" asked Rory with her arms crossed.

He only smiled in response.

"Bet you had no idea that I would just kiss you in your door frame did ya?" asked Rory with a triumphant smile.

"Fine, I'll admit I was a little shell-shocked for as moment, but I recovered," said Tristin, "Hey we could try it again," he added with a smile.

Rory leaned forward until she was barely an inch from his face. "You bet we will." She replied wickedly as she pulled back and ran her hand down his cheek. His cheek tingled from her touch.

Tristin sighed. "Which brings us to problem number 2. I'm leaving. Tomorrow"

"Stay," asked Rory.

"I can't, Rory," replied Tristin shakily, "I have to go; I have to get away from my old life. I can't continue on the path that I've lived on for so long. You have shown me so much. And have taught me that only I can change it. I have to go and I have to go now. You saw what was happening to me. I can't live like that. Not anymore."

"I don't want to lose you now when I feel like I just found you."

"You've had me since the day we met. And you'll have me forever. But the question is where do we go from here?"

"You go and I stay awaiting your return.

"If I return."

"If you don't I'll just come over to Paris and hunt you down."

"Is that a threat?" asked Tristin challengingly

"It's a promise," replied Rory.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Well that's my flight," said Tristin as the voiced boomed over the loud speaker in the airport. They just looked at each other.Tristin had tried to tell Rory not to come but she was stubborn and adamant about it. He loved her all the more for her bullheadedness but this was just so hard. Lorelai and his grandmother stepped away letting them have a few minutes alone. 

"I got you something. Close your eyes," said Tristin

Rory did as she was told and felt him move behind her. She reached up to the base of her throat as he felt something placed gently around her neck.

"Open them now," whispered Tristin his breathe tickling her ear. 

"Now you will always have my heart here with you," he whispered as he watched her reach down and gently touch the delicate carved heart on the simple black chord.

Her eyes filled with tears as she spun around and threw her arms around his neck. He gathered her up in his strong arms and held on with all he could.They just stood there both not willing to let go.

"Tristin," the soft voice of his grandmother behind him pulled him from his reverie.

"I really have to go," his voice was harsh with emotion. He pulled back to look at her one more time and ran a hand down her cheek to wipe away the tears. She closed her eyes as she leaned into his touch and placed her hand on top of his.And with a lingering kiss, he turned and was gone.

"I love you," whispered Rory as she watched him walked away again.


	10. Stepping Out From the Shadows

Going Home: Stepping Out From the Shadows

Author: snoflaik

Disclaimer: I own nothing. . . 

He saw her sitting there. Vainly attempting to keep her eyes on the scene in front of her. They would wander; moving around the theatre; searching, seeking. He smiled as she frowned in disappointment, turning her eyes back to the stage; her search unproductive once again.  She fidgeted nervously, unconsciously touching her hair and checking her dress, smoothing it out once again. She turned slightly, head and eyes moving to the spot where he was hidden from her view. He wasn't ready to show himself not yet. He just sat back in took everything in. Being back, being near her again. He never thought it would feel like this. He never knew it could. 

The first few days and weeks away had been the most difficult. He was so happy to be 'home' and yet so sad to be without her.  He walked down the hallways in anticipation and then smiled as he stopped before the painting hanging on the wall. Here it was. His grandfather's favorite painting. He sat down on the small bench just across the way, quietly leaning his backpack against the edge, pulled out a pen and a sheet of paper and began to write.  He would write about everything and anything, long rambling letters. Never before had he shared himself so completely with anyone. He wrote one everyday, sending postcards and paintings as well. 

"1 year, 5 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 4 minutes." Tristan sighed as he folded the letter and put it into the envelope.  _When can I begin to count differently?_ He thought silently before getting up and walking away.

Then one day all he sent was a ticket. 

She chewed her bottom lip nervously, a movement he knew so well, as she returned her attention to where it should be focused. Her program was folded and crushed almost beyond recognition. One hand slowly snaked up to lightly touch the heart at the base her throat. He smiled as she squeezed it lightly and sighed to herself. He stepped silently from the shadows and bent down till he was right behind her.  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where is he? That was the question going through her mind again and again. She was here; in their special place. And he was nowhere to be found. When she opened the letter that day and took out the one ticket enclosed, she knew what it meant. She did her little happy dance around the house and everything became all right again because he was coming back.  

It had been hard; going back to Chilton knowing that he wasn't there. The halls became cold and dark again. Every time she walked down the hall to her locker she couldn't help but look for his familiar form leaning against it. Smirk in tact and coffee in hand. Then she would remember and shake her head in sadness and heartache. What would she give to have his arms around her again?  To get lost in the blue of his eyes? To have his lips on hers and his hands running through her hair? She shivered as she saw in her mind his eyes just before he walked away. His emotions always showed plainly. Love and sadness, despair and hope, want and pain.  Why couldn't anything ever be simple between the two of them?

"1 day, 5 hours and 10 minutes since I last saw you. And as I sit here, I hope I can soon count the days until I will see you again." read Rory as she pulled out the piece of stationary.

"What? What happened?" asked Lorelei as she caught her daughter in a hug, seeing the tear begin to move down her cheek. 

"Tristin," came the muffled response.  Lorelei sighed and hugged her daughter tighter. 

She loved reading his postcards and the letters that arrived from all over Europe. They let her live with him if only for a little while.  He told her everything. All his innermost thoughts, his feelings, his joy, his sadness, his loneliness because she wasn't there to share it all with him. He drew her pictures of all that he saw. The Eiffel Tower at night. The Arc de Triumph. All the sights of Paris. Someday, they would go back there together. And only then would it truly feel like home. 

Junior year ended and summer came and went. Senior year arrived and he still hadn't returned. Now it was the week before graduation. The week before she was supposed to make her speech in front of her graduating class. Valedictorian. She wanted him to be there for that. She wanted him there for her first day of college. She wanted him there forever.  

"1 year, 5 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 4 minutes. When can I begin to count differently?" he wrote in his last letter. 

She searched around again. Her eyes brazenly studied everyone. Looking for the familiar smirk and tousled hair, the twinkle, the heat, the intensity of his eyes. She frowned. Where was he? Came the question once again. Suddenly it hit her, she felt him near, behind her shoulder. She turned and looked but only saw the heavy curtain and the empty seat. She bit her lip and twisted her program in her hand as she looked at the stage once again. Any other time she would be sitting, rapt in the power if the sounds. But not tonight, not when he was here. Somewhere. She reached up and touched the heart at her throat, squeezing it as she had every time she wished he was beside her again, and sighed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She smiled as she felt the strong arms encircle her and leaned back into the embrace. Just taking in having him near, smelling his cologne, feeling his body and his eyes. She stayed silent for a few moments.

"I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you having your arms around me." she whispered softly as the orchestra played a soft melody.

"Oh wouldn't he?" he answered just as quietly, his mouth right next to her ear.

"No, so just don't tell him I did this."

She turned her head and kissed him as the words left her mouth. Her hand moved to his neck and his ran themselves through her hair. He bent over further and the kiss deepened.  

"I promise I won't say a word," whispered Tristin as they finally broke apart.

"You better not because you do know you can be replaced." replied Rory as she turned around fully to look at him. His blue eyes burned and his smile sparkled as he looked at her. He was different. He was the same.

"Can I?" he asked with a grin as he reached and grabbed the heart pendant around her neck, the only piece of jewelry she wore, using it to pull her inches from him.

"Quite easily," she answered challengingly.

"Hmmm. . " replied Tristin as he contemplated her. Like a panther sees his prey. Never before had she been looked at with such hunger and love. His mouth melted into a smirk "But could anyone else make you go weak at the knees?"

"Bet you can't." retorted Rory coyly.

"I'll take that challenge," he replied as he pulled her the last inch.


End file.
